Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It's my birthday today...

There are beautiful flowers on the counter ~ funny and warm happy birthday wishes from the kids last night and this morning ~ lovely and loving cards from my husband and mother ~ I had coffee with a dear friend this morning and will talk with my sister this evening ~ It is my birthday and I am deeply blessed.

These words from the Fleetwood Mac/ Stevie Nicks song, Landslide, have been running through my head over the last month or so...

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Mmm Mmm...

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too...

These words resonate in so many ways, but I wonder on this day, how I might move more boldly throughout this next year of my life.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


My friend and former business partner, passed away last week. For 22 yrs. I've felt an energetic, intuitive, spiritual connection with her ~ I loved her completely, even during a rough time and time of estrangement ~ which defined the last three years. But, in the last month, though she and I did not speak directly, we communicated: I wrote a card. She called and left a message. I called and left a message. She showed up in my dreamspace. I called and left a message. And then... her daughter called and said her mother, my friend, had died ~ Sarah's soul had taken flight ~ I was then left to my tears.

I have tears and memories, lots of both, and a few regrets. Feeling sad that I didn't get a chance to see her one last time, I remembered that we had been together in a dream. I was stunned when I realized that she had died the same morning I'd had the dream. I am just now beginning to have a sense for the extravagant gifts she gave me throughout our relationship, but particularly at the end of her life ~ love, forgiveness, kindness, presence, connection ~ so extravagant and so amazing, my inclination is to say, "that's too much ~ you didn't have to ~ I don't deserve it."  A gentle voice asked about gratitude... things became a little clearer... I am so incredibly grateful for Sarah's gifts to me and I understand now that in accepting/ receiving those gifts with the grace and spirit in which they were given, I can let go of regrets, allowing that loving energy to flow back and forth between us, unhindered ~  it honors our relationship, past, present, and future ~ truly, all of it. So, with open hands and heart, Thank you, Sarah. Thank you!

On my answering machine, I hear her voice saying, "Between you and me, honey, there will never be 'too little, too late.' ...Love to you!" There are relationships that transcend time and space ~ I believe that ours is one of them and that Sarah's energetic presence and wisdom will always be with me... and that, is an amazing and wondrous gift.  ~ With Love and  Peace

Monday, September 27, 2010

Worry and Faith

Twice recently the focus of a sermon or discussion has been on Matthew 6:25-34 ~ The 'Do Not Worry' passages. This is another example of a passage that is oh, so easy to read and say, but is so hard to do, or not do, as the case may be.

God knows me... God knows my mother... God knows my maternal and paternal grandmothers... over achieving worriers all.  With one child in high school, one in middle school, and me starting a new business, the worry potential is elevated, but more than ever so is my desire to loosen its' grip on me. My prayer is that my will and faith are stronger than my DNA. I pray that, in the moment, I can recognize (irrational) worry for what it is and replace it with faith, breath, and wisdom ~ yes, this is my prayer.